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darth_stitchMuch thanks to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
gaycrow for passing on Stitch piccies so I could make my pretty new icon! YAY!!!
As You Wish
Chapter Nine – Brains, Brawn and Jedi Mind Tricks
Hagrid had a lovely collection of ammunition by the time the Man in Black was in throwing distance. The giant paid especial attention to rocks that had these nice sharp edges, perfect for splitting heads open. As gentle as Hagrid usually was, he still had something of his savage giant ancestors’ propensity for cracking skulls and splattering brains and blood and guts all over.
Daddy winced as he read the last few sentences. “Ew.” He turned the book over to look at its cover. “I thought this was supposed to be G-rated!”
“DAAAAADY!!” Katerina protested. “I’m not a baby. More blood and gore, please.”
Daddy leveled stern green eyes at her. “You’re getting to be more and more your father’s daughter every day.”
Katerina met his look with sweet, angelic innocence. “Of course I am, Daddy. Papa says I take after you – most of the time.”
Daddy pressed his lips together and it was clear to the little girl her father was clearly trying not to laugh out loud. “Remind me to have a little ‘talk’ with your other father later. As I was saying…”
Hagrid, of course, had much to be angry about right now and he wasn’t in a forgiving mood. He also had a very good aim.
The Man in Black was just now in range.
A little closer…
Just a wee bit more…
Perfect!
Five rocks sailed over the air in quick succession. Thrown with a giant’s strength behind them, they were meant to crush and break….
Except that they were now floating in mid-air. Hovering right in front of the Man in Black who was staring at them with a look of intense concentration.
“Bloody hell. That’s no’ fair!” Hagrid bellowed, stepping out from his hiding place.
He was gratified to see that the Man took a step back at his appearance. It was fun being a giant.
“You were about to crush my skull and other valuable body parts from ambush,” the Man in Black pointed out mildly. “I rather like having my skull and the rest of my body in one piece, you realize.”
“Yer a pirate!” Hagrid howled. “Since when do pirates know black magic?”
“Ask the ghostly crew of the Black Pearl.”
“Yer behind on yer news, man,” Hagrid pointed out. “Captain Sparrow’s got his ship back now and there ain’t no ghosts on that ship. Besides, the old crew was cursed, not wizards themselves.”
“I happen to know a wizard or two.”
“Where’s your wand, then? I thought all wizards used wands.”
The Man in Black looked very serene. “I happen to know a few Jedi Masters as well. Handy thing, the Force.”
“Well, this still isn’t fair,” Hagrid growled. “How’s am I supposed to avenge my poor Ronnie if ye’ve got all that magic on your side?”
“I’m a pirate, we’re not supposed to be fair.” The Man in Black paused. “Although, if you were speaking of your swordsman friend, he’s quite alright. If a bit unconscious at the moment.”
Hope flared in his heart for a moment before Hagrid damped it down. He crossed massive arms over an equally massive chest (yes, he knew it made him look intimidating) and scowled (yes, it made him look even MORE intimidating). “I don’t believe you.”
The Man in Black placed a gloved hand over his heart. “Pirate’s honor. Your friend is alive.”
“You pirates don’t have honor.” But Hagrid really and truly wanted to believe him.
The Man in Black looked offended. “I beg your pardon! We happen to have a bloody Code!”
“Which is supposed to be merely a sort of ‘guideline!’” Hagrid scoffed. “I know all about that!”
“I’m bloody English! We don’t hit a bloke when he’s down!”
Hagrid considered that. He had a point. And there was something about the earnestness in this fellow’s voice, most unlike the normal brand of pirate he was accustomed to running into that made Hagrid think he was telling the truth. And yeah, something about the Man reminded Hagrid of young Mr. Turner and he did like that lad. He prided himself on his ability to judge character after all.
“I’ll grant you that. But about the magic…”
“I am quite willing to take you on in a fair fight. No magic. No Jedi mind tricks. Hand to hand. Set our physical skills against each other’s.”
Hagrid smirked. “That wouldn’t be quite fair, now would it? I got the advantage here, if you haven’t noticed.”
The Man offered a dangerous smile. “I can handle myself, never fear.”
And they squared off.
Hagrid was right. He had strength and size on his corner. Both major advantages. All he had to do was catch his foe and he could crush him with his bare hands.
Except that it was proving quite difficult to “catch” his opponent. The Man in Black was fast and he evidently learned how to fight like those little Shaolin monk fellows all the way in China. Quick, lightning-fast moves that almost looked like dancing except that every blow landed on Hagrid’s body and every one of them hurt.
Ow.
“You know kung fu,” Hagrid observed, rubbing a bruised shoulder.
“I know kung fu,” the Man in Black agreed solemnly. “You heard about that?”
“I get around m’self. I’m not bleeding ignorant, y’know,” Hagrid answered. And once again, he went on the offensive, swinging his mighty fists. All he needed was to land one single blow and he’d cave the Man’s skull in. Or at least give him a bit of a headache…now that Ron might possibly be alive.
He couldn’t.
The Man however, managed to hit every vital spot on his body. Hagrid was used to pain and he could have lasted quite a long time yet but it seemed that his smaller opponent was also inexhaustible. And the Man was hitting nerve points that would have made a lesser man unconscious by now.
As it was, Hagrid was getting woozy.
A well-aimed kick brought Hagrid to his knees. He struggled to get up.
He felt a slight pressure on the back of his neck.
He managed to gasp, “M’sorry, Ron” before he lost consciousness.
The Man in Black knelt beside the fallen giant and quickly felt for his pulse. It still beat, strongly and steadily.
At that, he smiled. He drew a small bottle from the pouch hanging at his hip and set it beside the giant’s head.
“A potion for your aches and pains, Master giant. You were a worthy foe.”
The Man in Black stood up and went back on the trail, coming ever closer to his prey.
- TBC -
A/N: Yes, it seems ALL, and I do mean ALL my favorite fandoms want to hang out in this fic. Yes, ladies and gents, welcome to the official “tambayan” (hangout, pad, digs, flat) of Stitch’s wacky imagination. *facepalms* Honestly, Hastley, the FORCE?! Jedi mind tricks?
gaycrow for passing on Stitch piccies so I could make my pretty new icon! YAY!!!As You Wish
Chapter Nine – Brains, Brawn and Jedi Mind Tricks
Hagrid had a lovely collection of ammunition by the time the Man in Black was in throwing distance. The giant paid especial attention to rocks that had these nice sharp edges, perfect for splitting heads open. As gentle as Hagrid usually was, he still had something of his savage giant ancestors’ propensity for cracking skulls and splattering brains and blood and guts all over.
Daddy winced as he read the last few sentences. “Ew.” He turned the book over to look at its cover. “I thought this was supposed to be G-rated!”
“DAAAAADY!!” Katerina protested. “I’m not a baby. More blood and gore, please.”
Daddy leveled stern green eyes at her. “You’re getting to be more and more your father’s daughter every day.”
Katerina met his look with sweet, angelic innocence. “Of course I am, Daddy. Papa says I take after you – most of the time.”
Daddy pressed his lips together and it was clear to the little girl her father was clearly trying not to laugh out loud. “Remind me to have a little ‘talk’ with your other father later. As I was saying…”
Hagrid, of course, had much to be angry about right now and he wasn’t in a forgiving mood. He also had a very good aim.
The Man in Black was just now in range.
A little closer…
Just a wee bit more…
Perfect!
Five rocks sailed over the air in quick succession. Thrown with a giant’s strength behind them, they were meant to crush and break….
Except that they were now floating in mid-air. Hovering right in front of the Man in Black who was staring at them with a look of intense concentration.
“Bloody hell. That’s no’ fair!” Hagrid bellowed, stepping out from his hiding place.
He was gratified to see that the Man took a step back at his appearance. It was fun being a giant.
“You were about to crush my skull and other valuable body parts from ambush,” the Man in Black pointed out mildly. “I rather like having my skull and the rest of my body in one piece, you realize.”
“Yer a pirate!” Hagrid howled. “Since when do pirates know black magic?”
“Ask the ghostly crew of the Black Pearl.”
“Yer behind on yer news, man,” Hagrid pointed out. “Captain Sparrow’s got his ship back now and there ain’t no ghosts on that ship. Besides, the old crew was cursed, not wizards themselves.”
“I happen to know a wizard or two.”
“Where’s your wand, then? I thought all wizards used wands.”
The Man in Black looked very serene. “I happen to know a few Jedi Masters as well. Handy thing, the Force.”
“Well, this still isn’t fair,” Hagrid growled. “How’s am I supposed to avenge my poor Ronnie if ye’ve got all that magic on your side?”
“I’m a pirate, we’re not supposed to be fair.” The Man in Black paused. “Although, if you were speaking of your swordsman friend, he’s quite alright. If a bit unconscious at the moment.”
Hope flared in his heart for a moment before Hagrid damped it down. He crossed massive arms over an equally massive chest (yes, he knew it made him look intimidating) and scowled (yes, it made him look even MORE intimidating). “I don’t believe you.”
The Man in Black placed a gloved hand over his heart. “Pirate’s honor. Your friend is alive.”
“You pirates don’t have honor.” But Hagrid really and truly wanted to believe him.
The Man in Black looked offended. “I beg your pardon! We happen to have a bloody Code!”
“Which is supposed to be merely a sort of ‘guideline!’” Hagrid scoffed. “I know all about that!”
“I’m bloody English! We don’t hit a bloke when he’s down!”
Hagrid considered that. He had a point. And there was something about the earnestness in this fellow’s voice, most unlike the normal brand of pirate he was accustomed to running into that made Hagrid think he was telling the truth. And yeah, something about the Man reminded Hagrid of young Mr. Turner and he did like that lad. He prided himself on his ability to judge character after all.
“I’ll grant you that. But about the magic…”
“I am quite willing to take you on in a fair fight. No magic. No Jedi mind tricks. Hand to hand. Set our physical skills against each other’s.”
Hagrid smirked. “That wouldn’t be quite fair, now would it? I got the advantage here, if you haven’t noticed.”
The Man offered a dangerous smile. “I can handle myself, never fear.”
And they squared off.
Hagrid was right. He had strength and size on his corner. Both major advantages. All he had to do was catch his foe and he could crush him with his bare hands.
Except that it was proving quite difficult to “catch” his opponent. The Man in Black was fast and he evidently learned how to fight like those little Shaolin monk fellows all the way in China. Quick, lightning-fast moves that almost looked like dancing except that every blow landed on Hagrid’s body and every one of them hurt.
Ow.
“You know kung fu,” Hagrid observed, rubbing a bruised shoulder.
“I know kung fu,” the Man in Black agreed solemnly. “You heard about that?”
“I get around m’self. I’m not bleeding ignorant, y’know,” Hagrid answered. And once again, he went on the offensive, swinging his mighty fists. All he needed was to land one single blow and he’d cave the Man’s skull in. Or at least give him a bit of a headache…now that Ron might possibly be alive.
He couldn’t.
The Man however, managed to hit every vital spot on his body. Hagrid was used to pain and he could have lasted quite a long time yet but it seemed that his smaller opponent was also inexhaustible. And the Man was hitting nerve points that would have made a lesser man unconscious by now.
As it was, Hagrid was getting woozy.
A well-aimed kick brought Hagrid to his knees. He struggled to get up.
He felt a slight pressure on the back of his neck.
He managed to gasp, “M’sorry, Ron” before he lost consciousness.
The Man in Black knelt beside the fallen giant and quickly felt for his pulse. It still beat, strongly and steadily.
At that, he smiled. He drew a small bottle from the pouch hanging at his hip and set it beside the giant’s head.
“A potion for your aches and pains, Master giant. You were a worthy foe.”
The Man in Black stood up and went back on the trail, coming ever closer to his prey.
- TBC -
A/N: Yes, it seems ALL, and I do mean ALL my favorite fandoms want to hang out in this fic. Yes, ladies and gents, welcome to the official “tambayan” (hangout, pad, digs, flat) of Stitch’s wacky imagination. *facepalms* Honestly, Hastley, the FORCE?! Jedi mind tricks?
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-02-24 10:42 am (UTC)Don't believe I've commented before, but I love this story and I squeal like a little girl when I see updates. My thanks!
no subject
Date: 2004-02-24 10:47 am (UTC)*chokes on coffee*
*sees Katzchen's icon*
*keels over laughing*
no subject
Date: 2004-02-25 10:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-24 11:18 am (UTC)A ray of light amongst school papers, deadlines & poststructuralism;)
*hugs*
-sheesh
no subject
Date: 2004-02-24 11:33 am (UTC)*sigh* Am having my own (oh teh horror!) set of projects to finish and my workday just ended on a truly lousy note.
My Boss - the Captain of the Nazgul - is going to kill me.
AUGH. That means I'd better get working on Chapter Ten then. Mweh.
no subject
Date: 2004-02-24 12:18 pm (UTC)My Boss - the Captain of the Nazgul - is going to kill me.
Oh I sort of know that feeling... have you tried to chat with the snapeybot? It steals time, but it will cheer you up... ;)
I don't have time to look up the link for you, but the link is up in my LJ...
-sheesh
no subject
Date: 2004-02-24 05:42 pm (UTC)Baaaaad, snapeybot.
no subject
Date: 2004-02-25 07:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-24 11:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-24 01:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-24 01:00 pm (UTC)You know I love you, right? Right?
no subject
Date: 2004-02-24 01:28 pm (UTC)And yes, Els-chan, I love you too! *hugs*
no subject
Date: 2004-02-25 03:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-24 02:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-24 02:59 pm (UTC)like all the "force" and kungfu as well hope u continue soon
've been waiting for ages
no subject
Date: 2004-02-24 04:58 pm (UTC)Oh, lordy, the laughter.
>>The Man in Black looked offended. “I beg your pardon! We happen to have a bloody Code!”
“Which is supposed to be merely a sort of ‘guideline!’” Hagrid scoffed. “I know all about that!”<<
I'm loving the PotC references, and you can invite as many more fandoms into it as long as the wonderful Man In Black and our little Buttercup-Snape get it together in the end.
Am now imagining Jack Sparrow/ Harry Potter/ Severus Snape threesome type thing.
*melts*
no subject
Date: 2004-02-24 05:03 pm (UTC)a. Lord of the Rings
b. Snow White
c. Labyrinth
d. Star Wars - WTFH did THAT come from, Hastley?! *Stitch glares at the Man in Black, who offers her his best angelic smile*
e. The Matrix
f. Pirates of the Carribbean
And I think more of 'em want to join in. Ohmygod. *headdesk*
no subject
Date: 2004-02-24 05:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-24 06:46 pm (UTC)*facepalms*
For the last time, Hastley, No, you don't!
*pets Harry and his delusions of grandeur*
When do we get to see more of Princess Snapercup? I miss His Royal Snarkiness.
*huggles little Tomboy!Katarina*smooches her cheek*
no subject
Date: 2004-02-25 05:54 am (UTC)*sweatdrops* I swear, I have absolutely NO idea how "Hastley" came up with that one. I think he's been hanging around Neo waaaaaaaaaay too much for my taste.
I think I did see him in conference with Jet Li at one point. Good grief!
Kat? Of course she's a wee bit of a tomboy. Grandma M-- *cough* has despaired of her ever acting the little lady. And of course, her irrepressible fathers (both of 'em, believe me!) encourage her! Especially the father with the yen for Quidditch. *coughcough*
no subject
Date: 2004-02-25 06:23 am (UTC)*sends Kat a Jr.Firebolt*
^_^
no subject
Date: 2004-02-25 06:30 am (UTC)One of her fathers has a rather silly grin on because he knows his "kitten" is a rather good flyer having once snuck a broom out without permission and she did get spanked for that, for giving both her parents heart attacks.
Her other father is quite put out with you for "encouraging MY daughter to break her neck!"
But never fear, we'll keep him away from you.
*A voice is heard off-screen* "STOP ENCOURAGING HER!!"
Hush, Se--, er, "Papa."
no subject
Date: 2004-02-25 07:13 am (UTC)To Papa: Wouldn't you rather her have a child's broom that's safe and regulated than for her to nick Daddy's broom which will take her 100 feet in the air at break-neck speeds?
To Kat: Give 'em hell, lovey! *smooch* Love, Auntie Lars. ^_~
no subject
Date: 2004-02-25 09:30 am (UTC)Papa is giving us all the Death Glare and is saying, quite loudly, that Katerina's time would be better served if she paid more attention to her lessons, instead of wasting time on a broomstick. In all fairness to the "kitten" - she happens to be very very good at lessons. Papa claims that's because, thank Merlin, she took after HIM in the brains department, not her Quidditch-happy other father.
Kat sends kisses back and says that she will do what you ask. Much to BOTH her fathers' discomfiture. Eek. She absolutely adores you right now. *giggle* It's so easy to please kids.
Wow
Date: 2004-02-24 07:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-24 08:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-24 08:29 pm (UTC)Glad the piccies arrived ok. Thanks should go to my daughter - as Laurie knows, I couldn't do a thing without her. :)
no subject
Date: 2004-02-25 05:55 am (UTC)WAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIII!!!!!!! *bounces up and down* I'm just ever so happy with m'new Stitch piccies. Prettypretty! Thanks to the both of you!!
no subject
Date: 2004-02-25 08:58 am (UTC)I actually meant Laurie Odell from the Dungeons, though. She knows how much I rely on my daughter. How quickly the members of the CC are forgotten! *grin*
no subject
Date: 2004-02-25 09:25 am (UTC)*hugs gaycrow, daughter AND Laurie, Grand High Mistress of teh Chicken Club*
no subject
Date: 2004-02-25 01:16 am (UTC)Lovely to see this updated, yummm, yummm.
no subject
Date: 2004-02-25 09:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-25 07:51 am (UTC)(i'm not above flattery; will more help you write more?)
~Pamela
no subject
Date: 2004-02-25 09:32 am (UTC)(howling with laughter)
Date: 2004-02-25 02:15 pm (UTC)Re: (howling with laughter)
Date: 2004-02-25 03:00 pm (UTC)Oh God. Don't encourage my other muses. They all want in as it is!
*glares at a certain Man in Black Leather Trenchcoat and Kick-ass Shades*
*facepalms*
Re: (howling with laughter)
Date: 2004-02-25 03:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-26 10:15 am (UTC)Looking forword to the Zoo of Death muchly!
*hugs*
Twiggymolly
no subject
Date: 2004-02-29 04:51 am (UTC)