A Letter to His Snarkiness AKA My Grouchy, Snarky Severus Muse

[darth_stitch]

Dear Severus Muse,

Let's come to an understanding here.

Despite the MPREG horror I've foisted on you and the fact that I essentially gave you the role of Princess Buttercup in that Princess Bride spoof of mine (not that I think of you as remotely ANYTHING like a sweet swoony Princess-heroine), I think you generally have it GREAT as my Muse. You get Harry, Teh Couch of Lurve, three wonderful children, one looney daughter-in-law and lots of penguins and not much angst. Not that I have anything AGAINST angst (yes, I HAVE been re-reading Sushi's The Last Dance and loving every minute of it, despite my finishing off the Kleenex), but I figure you get enough of it as it is in CANON alone.

Plus, you and I have already decided I'm a fluffy screwball comic writer who is, by the way, still stuck on how to write your vampire smut scene with Harry. I don't get why you don't trust me on this, being as I'm generally nice to my vampire muses. Then again, Harry and I have already decided you're a bastard prat and we love you that way so I shall figure that out later (with Frances' help - :P ).

But I digress. Anyway, to get to the point:

I NEED inspiration.

More precisely, I need your wonderfully precise, dry, official-sounding, academic vocabulary to finish my BLASTED Official Institutional Report. Okay? I am sitting here at the monitor, looking at the outline and cringing at the amount of material I still need to sort and edit through.

I could look for Frances and her Killer Icon and keel over dead so you'll have no choice but to take over Teh Brain again but I'm a responsible alien and so, I am asking you, quite nicely, for help. Help me finish this Damn Thing so I can get back to letting you and Harry make lots more babies (or at least have fun trying, as Frances will kill me if I give you one more kid).

Plus, Katerina wants more of the fairy tale, Waverly wants a story of her own and Arthur REALLY wants me to come out and play and I CAN'T!!! Do you want me to disappoint your children? Come on! Please please pretty please with Nekkid Harry on Top? *bats eyelashes*

So be a love and help me finish this Report, okay? And I promise we can go back to "As You Wish" and all the other stories I want to write.

Love,
Darth K. Stitch

Comments

[aliciamasters.livejournal.com]

Maybe if you try reading the dry, academic report aloud to His Snarkiness, he would be able to offer some alternatives. Perhaps try sitting on the Couch of Lurve, so that he can't use it until he's helped you. Just a thought.

[darth-stitch.livejournal.com]

i am HIDING teh couch of lurve. otherwise, harry muse will come in and distract us.

[aliciamasters.livejournal.com]

I am hiding UNDER teh couch of lurve. Maybe Harry and Severus will come in and distract me, instead?

[vileseagulls.livejournal.com]

Careful. You don't know what might drip down.


(Hi, Stitch! Sorry I'm not around and such. You making any progress? It is 2am here and I have just made my way drunkenly home. Tomorrow Arthur will have a reason to be jealous, but don't tell him. I'm not around to stop him sulking.)

This is a note from Jay's kids: Jessie, Orin, and Feniris

[jayorin.livejournal.com]

Please! We beg you on hands and knees, help her with the bloody thing! If not, mom has threatened to sic the Anne muse on Harry and feed the kids sugar until they go loco. Plus she is considering letting Sushi babysit us all, and Sushi got that look, you know, the one that says "Sell the kids for magic beans!"


For the safety and Sanity of us all HELP HER SEVERUS!!!!