Stitch has gone and DIED again...

[darth_stitch]

Er. Stitch and I were supposed to be working on an LJ entry today but she's gone and died on us again.

Apparently, she was in the middle of reading a really bad MPREG story featuring Severus and I (well, our counterparts, anyway). Apparently, the author's idea was to have my counterpart....uh, shag, a fellow Polyjuiced into Severus and then my counterpart ends up pregnant with Severus' baby.

Because the Polyjuice was so strong that it briefly altered the other bloke's genetic material into alllll Snape.

*facepalms* I think I see why Stitch died laughing.

Seriously, whatever's wrong with making babies the old-fashioned way?

*is confused*

-- Harry Potter, Very Confused Muse

Comments

[turtlespeaks.livejournal.com]

Uuuuhhh. . . wait. *waves at Sev* Professor Snape! I have a question!!

Polyjuice doesn't alter all the genetic material? Why wouldn't it? I'm confused!

[darth-stitch.livejournal.com]

It's not supposed to but then, as we all know this is fan fiction where my counterpart can expect to be the star in ten thousand demented fantasies every damn day, with plausibility and characterizations are thrown out the window.

*growls*

this is harry

[darth-stitch.livejournal.com]

Er. Don't mind the growling of my silly husband over here. He's still a wee bit traumatized by that last fic we read, where I was supposed to commit suicide over him (broken hearts and angst and all that shite).

this is severus

[darth-stitch.livejournal.com]

Ridiculous notion - suicide.

*sniffs*

I have at least enough faith in your intelligence, Mr. Potter, to not do something so incredibly stupid.

And throwing your life away over me is not worth it.

[wikdsushi.livejournal.com]

*gets the greasepaint*

*turns Stitch into EVIL CLOWN STITCH, BWAH!*

*scares small children*

[vileseagulls.livejournal.com]

OMG WE MUST PUT HER ON A UNICYCLE OF DOOM.

DO WE HAVE A UNICYCLE OF DOOM?

[wikdsushi.livejournal.com]

*produces the UNICYCLE OF DOOM*

Should we give her a poodle? Huh? Huh? Huh?

[lherelenfeline.livejournal.com]

The pink poodle of doom then?

[wikdsushi.livejournal.com]

With a cone-shaped bobble hat!

[lherelenfeline.livejournal.com]

and a foofy white bow and a polka dot skirt!

[vileseagulls.livejournal.com]

YAY POODLE.

POODLE OF DOOM.

SMALL FURRY EVIL CLOWN ALIEN ON THE UNICYCLE OF DOOM WITH A POODLE.

PRODUCE THE POODLE, QUEEN SUSHI.

[fates-caprice.livejournal.com]

*snaps more pictures*

Perfect.

I wonder how much leverage I can get out of the daft alien bint for these incriminating photos...

*smirks*

[vileseagulls.livejournal.com]

LOTS.

If she has issues with the blackmail, put me onto her.

[wikdsushi.livejournal.com]

*pulls poodle out of thin air* TA-DA!!!

And he can ride a bicycle! *puts poodle on tiny bicycle*puts bicycle next to EVIL CLOWN STITCH*sings "Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo doo-doo" circus song*

[darth-stitch.livejournal.com]

OI!!! WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU LOT DOING TO ME?

And who's been taking pictures?!!

[vileseagulls.livejournal.com]

Yaaaaay!

[invisiblesnitch.livejournal.com]

Oh. My. God.

She actually looks.... ADORABLE?!!

*runs like hell from his Outraged Writer*

[fates-caprice.livejournal.com]

*smirks*

*carefully takes photos for future blackmail purposes*

My work here is done.

Now if you delightful people will excuse me, I shall go back in "hiding."