Random 3 am thoughts....

[darth_stitch]

One day at a time.

That's how you take it. Sometimes I'm just plain pissed and angry in general that my dear, funny Daddy isn't here to joke with. Sometimes, there's a lot of guilt in there, because in far more recent times, Daddy and I were in that stage where we were not getting along. He had been depressed and half the time, I was exasperated with his increasingly pessimistic view of things.

But we were mending our fences, y'know? And when he'd gotten so weak, I swore to myself I was going to make it all up to him and love him love him love him, because that's the only father I've got. I'd started with Father's Day and if fate had been just a tad kinder, I'd be spoiling Dad rotten to this very day.

Mommy Duck's all I've got left of my parents. She's amazingly strong and yet I'm terrified of how fragile she can be, all at the same time. We're both taking everything one day at a time. Yesterday, we went out, just the two of us, for a movie and buying some necessities. We're like hobbits that way; healing and taking refuge in our simple pleasures.

My grandfather wept again when we went to visit Dad's grave. It's the first Sunday we've spent together as a family without Dad and it's hitting him harder than ever. And it's affecting my grandmother just as badly and for the same exact reasons. I just keep on hugging the two of them and telling them "I love you." I hope it helps.

I miss him so much.

***

I'm going back to writing As You Wish (yeah, yeah, hang my head in shame, I've left it in WIP hell for so long - WARGH). There's a part of my mind that finds comfort in the mental picture of "Daddy" telling his outrageous and silly fairy tale to little Katerina. And like I've said before, this being the fluffverse, anything I write in this world will only have until OotP as canon (not unless I find something in HBP that can work in here). "Papa" wants to come in and play and Ralph Fiennes as Voldie is inspiring me muchly, especially when I think about him in "Red Dragon." Heh.

I'm going to blame the fuckwit who posted MAJOR spoilers on snape_potter for me realizing that as a Snarry writer, there's going to be ANGST ahead if I'm going to write anything using the new canon. *rolls eyes* I went to the comm just to look up some Snarry fics I could read to tide me over and certainly NOT to see big-ass spoilers all over the bloody place.

I do like the thread of the discussion that snapetoy's begun and I'm going to look that over in more detail AFTER I've read the book. Hee.

I really do think that HBP will help me expand and fix up the set of stories I'd like to do in my yet-unwritten vampire Snarry universe. Obviously, that's got ANGST aplenty innit. Okay, the universe IS mostly unwritten except for that PWP I did for Halloween last year. XP

Again, I'm going to laugh my ass off if Snape IS this Half Blood Prince. For the lucky folks who've read the book - feel free to start laughing at me. I think I SHOULD be laughing my ass off already. XP

Hugs to murasaki99 - Morrie and I are putting our heads together to work up something for you. XP

Comments

snuggles

[tanyad.livejournal.com]

Glad to hear you are healing slowly. If I can chip in to get you a copy of HBP, lemme know...I get a discount at work. :)

Much love to you, and a basilisk bite to the sod at snape_potter for posting le spoilers.

hugs and luv from your Chicago Wolfie

Re: snuggles

[darth-stitch.livejournal.com]

*hugs to you*

Someone's sending me the book already - oh joy! And man, do I look forward to the plot bunnies THAT's going to engender. XP

[thepinkangel.livejournal.com]

I was half laughing my arse off to some of the ridiculously stupid teenage things going on... What fools these young wizards be!

[lherelenfeline.livejournal.com]

Oh love../
[hugs],
the hobbits have the right idea... heliang is slow, and one day at a time.

just think about it this way, now your daddy can know exactly whats happening in the fluffverse, just as you write it.

[murasaki99.livejournal.com]

I'm only about halfway through the book, so I can't tell you if you should be laughing or not. :D

I'll read your new story after I finish the book, so far I've managed to avoid the spoilers, so... I'm hoping to get it done tonight.

I found a plain box! Ha!

You're letting Morrie help you plan something??? Now, *that's* scary to contemplate!