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darth_stitch*hangs head in shame* I know, I know, I know. I have been remiss. I have sinned. I have not updated "As You Wish" in quite a bloody long time. Forgive me. Patawad po!
Hagrid was a bloody difficult character to wrestle down and work on. He kept wanting to wander off and mess with my OC Dragonlord's dragons. Good effing grief.
ETA: As this has been a while, for any newbie who's startled at this screwy little thingummy of a fic, the earlier chapters are linked right here. Also includes the disclaimers and such.
Finally, he cooperated. So here is the next chapter of my little Snarry fairy tale....
As You Wish
Chapter Eight: Hagrid The Giant
Hagrid was getting worried.
Dawn was almost upon them and there was still no sign of Ronald Weasley. The giant knew the capabilities of the English swordsman perfectly well. Ron’s mastery of the sword was such that it only took him seconds to take down less talented opponents. He’d once seen the man take down seven of the Cursed Pirates from the Black Pearl in fifteen seconds flat. Of course, when the opponent was far more skilled, like that nice young Will Turner fellow who’d mistaken them for a pair of pirates themselves, the battle took minutes.
It must be said here that Will was one of the few people who’d gone up against Ron and lived to tell the tale. But that was because he was such a nice young man that Hagrid told Ron, quite firmly, that he’d knock Ron’s head off if he killed him. Ron, good lad that he was, spared Will’s life. Plus, Will was a fellow Englishman – they had to stick together now, didn’t they?
Anyway, it had been hours since they’d last seen Ron and that alone told Hagrid that something was Very Wrong. Hagrid wasn’t stupid, despite what most people, including the Rat, thought. For some strange reason, most folks assumed that just because Hagrid was big (well, he was a giant after all) and strong (that was part of the giant package too), had a near-suicidal love for dangerous animals (that was a trait Hagrid had all his own and being a giant had nothing to do with it) and couldn’t keep a secret to save his life, that he was a complete moron.
Well, he wasn’t. And if people had other ideas, well, that wasn’t his fault now, was it?
“Something’s wrong with Ron,” Hagrid announced to his two companions.
“Nonsense,” the Rat snapped. “That redheaded idiot’s just dawdling as usual.”
Hagrid snorted. He had never liked the Rat much and if they hadn’t had that rather substantial gambling debt due to Sparrow (Captain Jack Sparrow, he mentally amended), he would never have let Ron talk him into taking this bodyguard job.
“I doubt that he was ‘dawdling,’ Master Rat,” Snape drawled. “We are all aware of Master Weasley’s abilities – our pirate may be more skilled than we thought he was.”
“And Ronnie would never worry me so,” Hagrid affirmed. “I’d like t’stay behind and make sure he’s all right.”
“Inconceivable! You two louts were hired to be OUR bodyguards,” the Rat spluttered.
There was a flash of light and then, an outraged squeal. Hagrid winced - that really made his ears hurt.
Said outraged squeal came from the Rat, who was hopping around like a mad thing, his hands clutching at a new, very long, worm-like rat’s tail.
Hagrid hid a grin. Perfect.
“You – you – “ the Rat (pardon the deliberate pun) squeaked. He was actually at a loss for words.
“Boo-bloody-hoo, Master Rat,” Snape said airily. He tucked his wand back into his sleeve. “I did warn you about using that detestable word one more time, did I not?”
“I DEMAND that you take this TAIL away this very instant!”
“But it suits you so very well.”
“SNAPE!”
“In fact, I’m quite tempted to add the rest. You know, ears and fur and whiskers and such.”
The Rat was nearly purple with rage.
“Hagrid might like to keep you, though.”
“I’m sure I’ve got room fer him here wi’ Aragog,” Hagrid deadpanned. Payback was an opportunity to be relished when it came, on the heels of all those remarks the Rat made about his general intelligence and his parentage. If the Rat cared to enquire, Hagrid's father (who was human) was very happily married to a lovely giantess (wonderful woman) and they had quite a nice life up that beanstalk until Hagrid decided to make his own way in the world.
Snape was clearly enjoying this as well. Hagrid almost felt sorry for the Rat…if he wasn’t such a disgusting little scuzz. “Make up for that dragon now, isn’t that right, Master Giant?”
“Yep.”
The Rat turned into an interesting shade of green. “I’m PAYING you--!”
“I’m sure both our bodyguards will not fear for their wages, which were justly earned,” Snape said calmly. “Prince Voldemort would be most delighted to hear of their exemplary service, I believe and a bonus is perhaps in short order -- ”
Hagrid beamed. He did like the snarky and cantankerous wizard better even if he WAS snarky and cantankerous. At least he was fair. And kind, in his own snarky, cantankerous way.
“-- so I would not begrudge Hagrid the time he needs to look for Mr. Weasley.”
“Thank you very much, Professor sir!” Hagrid answered, not one to miss his cue after all. He really was very worried about Ron now – he loved that boy like a son, he did. And there was a strange sort of look in the dark-robed wizard’s eyes as he had spoken.
Hagrid decided that look meant understanding. Yes, that was it. Snape understood him.
“He really should have turned the Rat into a real rat,” said Katerina decidedly. “I don’t like him.”
“Now, kitten, you know that’s not nice,” Daddy chided. But his eyes were twinkling.
“Niceness is overrated,” Katerina announced. “A good hexing works wonders on many dunderheads.”
The corners of Daddy’s mouth twitched, like he was trying not to laugh. “Katerina, have you been listening to your Papa again?”
“Of course.”
Daddy raised his eyes heavenwards. “Two of them. Utterly incorrigible…” he muttered.
Katerina giggled. “You would do it too, if you had a good cause. Last week, you hexed Uncle Dr--”
“Ahem.” Daddy peered down his glasses, looking quite sternly at her. “Shall we continue the story or not?”
Katerina also knew the value of picking her battles and knowing when she had won. Her Papa had taught her that. So she meekly replied, “What did Hagrid do next?”
Well, Hagrid backtracked down the road, hoping that he would finally meet up with Ron. He had a good mind to give the young swordsman a sound scolding. Honestly – taking so long and worrying Hagrid like that!
He was making several mental notes as well, one of them being never, and Hagrid meant NEVER, to play Wizard’s Poker with pirates ever again. Yes, they really ought to find themselves steady, well-paying jobs. All this shifting around and being hired men was going to stop. There was always a few lords on the lookout for a giant and a swordsmen as Palace guards. The Goblin King, for example, would probably welcome them both with open arms – a dizzying Labyrinth full of traps can only serve as a deterrent to trespassers for so long. Plus, King Jareth would not mind Hagrid’s menagerie – he had a lot of interesting critters of his own.
Yes, that was it. No more shifting about like tramps. A new life for the both of them after this job was done!
There was a lone figure on the horizon.
Hagrid squinted, looking harder. There was much to be said for elf-sight but giant-sight was just as keen. This had better be Ron….
It was a man. A man clad entirely in black.
Hagrid’s heart sank. He considered the implications. Ron would never have let this Man in Black escape him. Therefore, Ron must’ve lost the swordfight.
Ron lost. Hagrid didn’t want to think the word “inconceivable” but there it was. Ron had lost.
And perhaps, he was probably dead. Hagrid couldn’t imagine a pirate leaving Ron alive after that battle. They were pirates after all. Scurvy dogs of the sea and all that rot.
So, Ron must be dead. This Man in Black must’ve killed him. And he was still coming after them. And since he’d defeated the greatest swordsman in the world, he must be even better.
Then again, Hagrid was a giant. He was also on the proverbial “high ground”- there were trees and boulders bigger than himself scattered about, making it perfect for an ambush. There were also slightly smaller boulders that he could lift and throw quite easily. One of these could crush a man’s skull into pulp – if Hagrid didn’t get his own hands on this Man in Black first.
Yes, Hagrid was very angry. Hagrid was normally an even-tempered fellow and a very patient one to boot. However, killing Ron Weasley, his best friend in the whole world, would make Hagrid very, very angry indeed.
The giant settled down behind a particularly large boulder and began to gather his ammunition. He had an ambush to plan.
- TBC-
Hagrid was a bloody difficult character to wrestle down and work on. He kept wanting to wander off and mess with my OC Dragonlord's dragons. Good effing grief.
ETA: As this has been a while, for any newbie who's startled at this screwy little thingummy of a fic, the earlier chapters are linked right here. Also includes the disclaimers and such.
Finally, he cooperated. So here is the next chapter of my little Snarry fairy tale....
As You Wish
Chapter Eight: Hagrid The Giant
Hagrid was getting worried.
Dawn was almost upon them and there was still no sign of Ronald Weasley. The giant knew the capabilities of the English swordsman perfectly well. Ron’s mastery of the sword was such that it only took him seconds to take down less talented opponents. He’d once seen the man take down seven of the Cursed Pirates from the Black Pearl in fifteen seconds flat. Of course, when the opponent was far more skilled, like that nice young Will Turner fellow who’d mistaken them for a pair of pirates themselves, the battle took minutes.
It must be said here that Will was one of the few people who’d gone up against Ron and lived to tell the tale. But that was because he was such a nice young man that Hagrid told Ron, quite firmly, that he’d knock Ron’s head off if he killed him. Ron, good lad that he was, spared Will’s life. Plus, Will was a fellow Englishman – they had to stick together now, didn’t they?
Anyway, it had been hours since they’d last seen Ron and that alone told Hagrid that something was Very Wrong. Hagrid wasn’t stupid, despite what most people, including the Rat, thought. For some strange reason, most folks assumed that just because Hagrid was big (well, he was a giant after all) and strong (that was part of the giant package too), had a near-suicidal love for dangerous animals (that was a trait Hagrid had all his own and being a giant had nothing to do with it) and couldn’t keep a secret to save his life, that he was a complete moron.
Well, he wasn’t. And if people had other ideas, well, that wasn’t his fault now, was it?
“Something’s wrong with Ron,” Hagrid announced to his two companions.
“Nonsense,” the Rat snapped. “That redheaded idiot’s just dawdling as usual.”
Hagrid snorted. He had never liked the Rat much and if they hadn’t had that rather substantial gambling debt due to Sparrow (Captain Jack Sparrow, he mentally amended), he would never have let Ron talk him into taking this bodyguard job.
“I doubt that he was ‘dawdling,’ Master Rat,” Snape drawled. “We are all aware of Master Weasley’s abilities – our pirate may be more skilled than we thought he was.”
“And Ronnie would never worry me so,” Hagrid affirmed. “I’d like t’stay behind and make sure he’s all right.”
“Inconceivable! You two louts were hired to be OUR bodyguards,” the Rat spluttered.
There was a flash of light and then, an outraged squeal. Hagrid winced - that really made his ears hurt.
Said outraged squeal came from the Rat, who was hopping around like a mad thing, his hands clutching at a new, very long, worm-like rat’s tail.
Hagrid hid a grin. Perfect.
“You – you – “ the Rat (pardon the deliberate pun) squeaked. He was actually at a loss for words.
“Boo-bloody-hoo, Master Rat,” Snape said airily. He tucked his wand back into his sleeve. “I did warn you about using that detestable word one more time, did I not?”
“I DEMAND that you take this TAIL away this very instant!”
“But it suits you so very well.”
“SNAPE!”
“In fact, I’m quite tempted to add the rest. You know, ears and fur and whiskers and such.”
The Rat was nearly purple with rage.
“Hagrid might like to keep you, though.”
“I’m sure I’ve got room fer him here wi’ Aragog,” Hagrid deadpanned. Payback was an opportunity to be relished when it came, on the heels of all those remarks the Rat made about his general intelligence and his parentage. If the Rat cared to enquire, Hagrid's father (who was human) was very happily married to a lovely giantess (wonderful woman) and they had quite a nice life up that beanstalk until Hagrid decided to make his own way in the world.
Snape was clearly enjoying this as well. Hagrid almost felt sorry for the Rat…if he wasn’t such a disgusting little scuzz. “Make up for that dragon now, isn’t that right, Master Giant?”
“Yep.”
The Rat turned into an interesting shade of green. “I’m PAYING you--!”
“I’m sure both our bodyguards will not fear for their wages, which were justly earned,” Snape said calmly. “Prince Voldemort would be most delighted to hear of their exemplary service, I believe and a bonus is perhaps in short order -- ”
Hagrid beamed. He did like the snarky and cantankerous wizard better even if he WAS snarky and cantankerous. At least he was fair. And kind, in his own snarky, cantankerous way.
“-- so I would not begrudge Hagrid the time he needs to look for Mr. Weasley.”
“Thank you very much, Professor sir!” Hagrid answered, not one to miss his cue after all. He really was very worried about Ron now – he loved that boy like a son, he did. And there was a strange sort of look in the dark-robed wizard’s eyes as he had spoken.
Hagrid decided that look meant understanding. Yes, that was it. Snape understood him.
“He really should have turned the Rat into a real rat,” said Katerina decidedly. “I don’t like him.”
“Now, kitten, you know that’s not nice,” Daddy chided. But his eyes were twinkling.
“Niceness is overrated,” Katerina announced. “A good hexing works wonders on many dunderheads.”
The corners of Daddy’s mouth twitched, like he was trying not to laugh. “Katerina, have you been listening to your Papa again?”
“Of course.”
Daddy raised his eyes heavenwards. “Two of them. Utterly incorrigible…” he muttered.
Katerina giggled. “You would do it too, if you had a good cause. Last week, you hexed Uncle Dr--”
“Ahem.” Daddy peered down his glasses, looking quite sternly at her. “Shall we continue the story or not?”
Katerina also knew the value of picking her battles and knowing when she had won. Her Papa had taught her that. So she meekly replied, “What did Hagrid do next?”
Well, Hagrid backtracked down the road, hoping that he would finally meet up with Ron. He had a good mind to give the young swordsman a sound scolding. Honestly – taking so long and worrying Hagrid like that!
He was making several mental notes as well, one of them being never, and Hagrid meant NEVER, to play Wizard’s Poker with pirates ever again. Yes, they really ought to find themselves steady, well-paying jobs. All this shifting around and being hired men was going to stop. There was always a few lords on the lookout for a giant and a swordsmen as Palace guards. The Goblin King, for example, would probably welcome them both with open arms – a dizzying Labyrinth full of traps can only serve as a deterrent to trespassers for so long. Plus, King Jareth would not mind Hagrid’s menagerie – he had a lot of interesting critters of his own.
Yes, that was it. No more shifting about like tramps. A new life for the both of them after this job was done!
There was a lone figure on the horizon.
Hagrid squinted, looking harder. There was much to be said for elf-sight but giant-sight was just as keen. This had better be Ron….
It was a man. A man clad entirely in black.
Hagrid’s heart sank. He considered the implications. Ron would never have let this Man in Black escape him. Therefore, Ron must’ve lost the swordfight.
Ron lost. Hagrid didn’t want to think the word “inconceivable” but there it was. Ron had lost.
And perhaps, he was probably dead. Hagrid couldn’t imagine a pirate leaving Ron alive after that battle. They were pirates after all. Scurvy dogs of the sea and all that rot.
So, Ron must be dead. This Man in Black must’ve killed him. And he was still coming after them. And since he’d defeated the greatest swordsman in the world, he must be even better.
Then again, Hagrid was a giant. He was also on the proverbial “high ground”- there were trees and boulders bigger than himself scattered about, making it perfect for an ambush. There were also slightly smaller boulders that he could lift and throw quite easily. One of these could crush a man’s skull into pulp – if Hagrid didn’t get his own hands on this Man in Black first.
Yes, Hagrid was very angry. Hagrid was normally an even-tempered fellow and a very patient one to boot. However, killing Ron Weasley, his best friend in the whole world, would make Hagrid very, very angry indeed.
The giant settled down behind a particularly large boulder and began to gather his ammunition. He had an ambush to plan.
- TBC-
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-02-11 08:41 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-11 10:17 am (UTC)waiiii~~~
Date: 2004-02-11 11:44 am (UTC)Re: waiiii~~~
Date: 2004-02-11 11:51 am (UTC)Drac---? Who's that? Surely you don' t think "Daddy" and "Papa" are anybody we know, now do you?
*Stitch studiously ignores the fact that she's mentioned Papa's "nose" and Daddy's "glasses" *
*cough*
*looks very, very angelic*
no subject
Date: 2004-02-11 11:58 am (UTC)Labyrinth mentions! And Captain Jack! *happydance* It just keeps getting better and better
*pats Hagrid* There, there, you'll see it all works out in the end
no subject
Date: 2004-02-11 01:49 pm (UTC)If someone would have told me that they could write an AU Princess Bride with Snape as Buttercup and Harry as Wesley and in character I would have laughed at them. In character and believable.
I love the references to Sparrow and Turner and also the Goblin King. Through a little of everything into the pot and mix it up...
Fabulous job and keep writing. Is it alright to beg for the next chapter?
Re:
Date: 2004-02-11 02:37 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-11 02:38 pm (UTC)Princess Bride. Harry Potter. Weird-ass crossovers. *facepalms* The plotbunnies for this kind of thing seem to like me waaaaaaaaay too much for my sanity. Sigh.
no subject
Date: 2004-02-11 04:34 pm (UTC)And Captain Jack Sparrow.
And Snape.
And the Man in Black. Though I keep thinking of Westley and not Harry. Lol.
Eee!
no subject
Date: 2004-02-11 07:46 pm (UTC)"Boo-bloody-hoo." Hee. Love it.
no subject
Date: 2004-02-11 10:24 pm (UTC)HIIIIIIII!!!!!!!
Date: 2004-02-12 05:44 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-12 06:36 am (UTC)"Boo-bloody-hoo." He snarks, he scores! That's our Snapercup. *giggle*
no subject
Date: 2004-02-12 09:29 am (UTC)ahahah take THAT, Rat! :D:D:D
i loved this chapter and all its outside references -- mmmm Will Turner and of course Captain Jack Sparrow, haha..
poor Hagrid. i can see him flailing to get Harry off his back in the next chapter, heh. there will be a chapter coming soon, right? ;D
hey darthstitch, ur journal is interesting...
Date: 2004-02-12 11:00 am (UTC)have you heard about The Christ? it's a movie about the last hours of Jesus' life before the Crucifixion - i've heard a lot of good things about it, and i agree after seeing the trailers...
i'll include a few links below. check these out, they moved me. i mean, if a TRAILER can make you cry, it's got to be some movie!
Some trailers (http://movies.go.com/movies/P/passion_2003/index.html?sptype=AV&ipsrc=media&reftype=pi#)
Information (http://www.passion-movie.com)
The Passion of the Christ (flash) (http://www.thepassionofthechrist.com)
Other trailers (http://www.thepassion.tv)
i dont want to clutter up your journal, but i would hope you and some of your friends would actually appreciate this - i'm trying to spread the word about this film , i feel that compelled!
later darthstitch,
- Mike
Re: As you wish
LeeLeePotter
no subject
Date: 2004-02-12 05:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-13 01:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-13 01:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-13 01:52 pm (UTC)Well, you know I <3!!! this story muchly. So I won't repeat that. Instead...
*hands you biiig bag of "special" chocolate chip cookies* *^_^*
Re:
Date: 2004-02-13 06:15 pm (UTC)Cookies!!! *munchmunchmunchmunch*
no subject
Date: 2004-02-14 12:06 am (UTC)You updated!
Big hugs!
Had almost given up on this story and feel I must apologise for that! Sorry. Loving it still, and all the little hints we got about Katerina and her fathers (who couldn't possibly be two dark haired wizards we know and love so well) were delightful, and any mention of /Captain/ Jack Sparrow is, of course, appreciated.
Looking forward to next installment.
xox,
Mia:)
P.S. loving els_chan's 'Harry Potter's chance to explain'