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darth_stitchNo. Really.
It's like Guy Ritchie and his screen writers spent some time in the slash fandom and came up with just the Right Elements to turn us into squeeing puddles of squee.
I know. Redundant 'Stitch is redundant. I don't care.
So this particular movie has some shared elements with "The Final Problem" and that's freakin' FANTASTIC because this was one of the most unforgettable Holmes stories I've read and enjoyed as a kid.
Except that, you know, it's actually Sherlock and Watson's Epic Wedding and Honeymoon. Naturally, they're there to prevent the outbreak of World War I (well, delay it for a few more years and keep Moriarty from profiting off it) but that's kind of par for the course.
1. Dear Hawaii Five-0 - this is how you write women characters/love interests for your bromantic male leads. Irene Adler and Mary Watson are two women who could probably PWN our boys and we're having a helluva lot of fun watching them do this. They should almost be in their own separate movie or TV series - I'd WATCH that and cheer my ass off. Irene and Mary have actual brains, wits and aren't simply there to be the boys' ostensible Proof of Heterosexuality and Slash Deniability.
They could have been.
But they're not and it makes them interesting and fantastic and totally, totally BAMF.
Also, the Rom Lady who could have been just fluff was interesting as well. So congratulations, guys - well done.
2. So essentially, the movie in a nutshell is this - Holmes and Watson get married. No, really. They do. They show up for their wedding, battered and bruised after a raucous bachelor party that's crashed by the minions of the Evil Professor Moriarty. And then, they go on their honeymoon and several things happen that I just know have fan girls snickering into their blogs and getting ambushed by plot bunniez.
3. Holmes is in drag. And there is this moment where Watson is so pissed at him for pushing Mary off the train (Holmes was trying to save her life). So they have rough angry make-up sex. And Holmes gets to have his BODICE RIPPED. AND HE'S RAVISHED.
AND AFTERWARDS, THEY GET ON THE FLOOR AND HOLMES LIGHTS HIS PIPE. And we have MACHINE GUNS FIRING. THE SUBTEXT. IT IS INSANE. AND CRAZY. AND FANTABULOUS.
AT THAT POINT I FELL OFF MY SEAT DYING OF LOLZ.
4. And then they get to romantic Paris, catch a staging of Mozart's Don Giovanni at the Paris Opera House (shades of the Phantom) and go to the Hotel Arc de Triomphe. Also, they have coffee at the Eiffel Tower with their Tour Guide - the BAMF Rom Lady.
And it is AWESOME.
5. And then they take a short stop to Germany and we have explosions and boom and more of Watson and Holmes being BAMF. Also, there is Plot and Moriarty being all Evulz and I WILL START WWI SO I CAN MAKE MONEY MUHAHAHAHAHAHAH AND TORTURE. But you know, it's nothing more than what I'd expect from a honeymoon withDanny Williams and Steve McGarrett - uh, Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson.
6. And their European honeymoon is capped by a lovely ball at Castle Reichenbach, which overlooks the magnificent Reichenbach falls.
AND IN FULL FORMAL DRESS SHERLOCK AND WATSON SHARE A ROMANTIC WALTZ.
SO OKAY, THE SLASH WAS SO OBVIOUS, MOMMA DUCK WAS GIGGLING NEXT TO ME AND SAYING: "IT'S DANNY AND STEVE!!!" AND I WAS SQUEEING THE SAME THING.
AND THE SHOWDOWN OF WITS BETWEEN HOLMES AND MORIARTY WAS MADE OF WIN AND AWESOME. BECAUSE. THAT IS HOW YOU GET THAT DONE. Who knew chess could be so BAMF?
And you know, we have a "Tragic" Ending. Which readers of the Final Problem will know what's about, complete with Watson angst.
But come on, you guys know how it really ends, right?
I await the Sequel with Bated Breath.
Also, hit me with the Slash Fics. XD
And now, I will go watch the BBC series. Because apparently, that is made of win too.
It's like Guy Ritchie and his screen writers spent some time in the slash fandom and came up with just the Right Elements to turn us into squeeing puddles of squee.
I know. Redundant 'Stitch is redundant. I don't care.
So this particular movie has some shared elements with "The Final Problem" and that's freakin' FANTASTIC because this was one of the most unforgettable Holmes stories I've read and enjoyed as a kid.
Except that, you know, it's actually Sherlock and Watson's Epic Wedding and Honeymoon. Naturally, they're there to prevent the outbreak of World War I (well, delay it for a few more years and keep Moriarty from profiting off it) but that's kind of par for the course.
1. Dear Hawaii Five-0 - this is how you write women characters/love interests for your bromantic male leads. Irene Adler and Mary Watson are two women who could probably PWN our boys and we're having a helluva lot of fun watching them do this. They should almost be in their own separate movie or TV series - I'd WATCH that and cheer my ass off. Irene and Mary have actual brains, wits and aren't simply there to be the boys' ostensible Proof of Heterosexuality and Slash Deniability.
They could have been.
But they're not and it makes them interesting and fantastic and totally, totally BAMF.
Also, the Rom Lady who could have been just fluff was interesting as well. So congratulations, guys - well done.
2. So essentially, the movie in a nutshell is this - Holmes and Watson get married. No, really. They do. They show up for their wedding, battered and bruised after a raucous bachelor party that's crashed by the minions of the Evil Professor Moriarty. And then, they go on their honeymoon and several things happen that I just know have fan girls snickering into their blogs and getting ambushed by plot bunniez.
3. Holmes is in drag. And there is this moment where Watson is so pissed at him for pushing Mary off the train (Holmes was trying to save her life). So they have rough angry make-up sex. And Holmes gets to have his BODICE RIPPED. AND HE'S RAVISHED.
AND AFTERWARDS, THEY GET ON THE FLOOR AND HOLMES LIGHTS HIS PIPE. And we have MACHINE GUNS FIRING. THE SUBTEXT. IT IS INSANE. AND CRAZY. AND FANTABULOUS.
AT THAT POINT I FELL OFF MY SEAT DYING OF LOLZ.
4. And then they get to romantic Paris, catch a staging of Mozart's Don Giovanni at the Paris Opera House (shades of the Phantom) and go to the Hotel Arc de Triomphe. Also, they have coffee at the Eiffel Tower with their Tour Guide - the BAMF Rom Lady.
And it is AWESOME.
5. And then they take a short stop to Germany and we have explosions and boom and more of Watson and Holmes being BAMF. Also, there is Plot and Moriarty being all Evulz and I WILL START WWI SO I CAN MAKE MONEY MUHAHAHAHAHAHAH AND TORTURE. But you know, it's nothing more than what I'd expect from a honeymoon with
6. And their European honeymoon is capped by a lovely ball at Castle Reichenbach, which overlooks the magnificent Reichenbach falls.
AND IN FULL FORMAL DRESS SHERLOCK AND WATSON SHARE A ROMANTIC WALTZ.
SO OKAY, THE SLASH WAS SO OBVIOUS, MOMMA DUCK WAS GIGGLING NEXT TO ME AND SAYING: "IT'S DANNY AND STEVE!!!" AND I WAS SQUEEING THE SAME THING.
AND THE SHOWDOWN OF WITS BETWEEN HOLMES AND MORIARTY WAS MADE OF WIN AND AWESOME. BECAUSE. THAT IS HOW YOU GET THAT DONE. Who knew chess could be so BAMF?
And you know, we have a "Tragic" Ending. Which readers of the Final Problem will know what's about, complete with Watson angst.
But come on, you guys know how it really ends, right?
I await the Sequel with Bated Breath.
Also, hit me with the Slash Fics. XD
And now, I will go watch the BBC series. Because apparently, that is made of win too.
