trying very very hard to remember the real meaning of christmas...

[darth_stitch]

It's going to be a pretty grim Christmas for us and it's taking everything I've got not to snarl, "BAH HUMBUG!"

The fact that this will be our first Christmas without my Dad there, cheerfully booming, "And the next number of the program....!" (meaning, he'd like to get to the present opening because he enjoys seeing all the little cousins go nuts over their prezzies) kinda says everything.

Business is NOT doing well, what with late-paying customers AND that damn Expanded Value Added Tax (EVAT) Law that the government has now imposed. For the very first time, money is so short in the household that we've only got enough for necessities. Not to mention the unexpected expenses that keep popping up, like essential things that need to be repaired or replaced.

But you know what? The three of us in the family wouldn't have given a flying rat's patootie for all that and we'd be perfectly happy to sit down to a Christmas dinner made via our househelp's "hit-or-miss" culinary skills as long as my Daddy was still alive and we were all together. Forget the bloody Christmas tree, the presents, the new clothes, the food and all that. It would have been the best Christmas of all, if my Dad had come out of the hospital alive and well and we'd be dragging him off to attend Christmas Mass with us in thanksgiving.

So I'm rooting out all my old books - especially the children's ones that I still find myself buying on occasion and reading and sorting them to see if I can at least manage to give my young cousins something for Christmas. Thank God that nearly all of them are now old enough to go to school and are old enough to definitely read and appreciate the things. And there's always enough money for fruit and candies and sweet things so that none of my cousins will go home empty-handed should they choose to visit us this Christmas, which is their usual wont.

My beloved Mommy Duck is still here and so's my Eggling and we're still alive and well and healthy as could be so I'm counting the blessings we still have - plus we've got a Daddy Angel in heaven, no matter how much we miss him. There's still Jane, our faithful househelp, even if her cooking can rival Akane Tendo's at times and our cats, especially the new kitty, FC, who seems to think that she should walk on her hind legs like a human being, instead of all fours like any self-respecting feline would.

I keep thinking of that guy in Quezon Province who lost all his possessions and his house was flooded out and he could still grin and hang a dilapidated parol on his door and dance and sing "Merry Christmas" because none of his family died in the storm and floods that hit us, a scant few days before the rest of Asia got hit by the tsunami. He knew what Christmas was really all about.

So, no "Bah Humbug" for me. And hey, the first Christmas was celebrated in a stable and all it needed was a family to make it special.

Merry Christmas. And a Happy New Year!

Comments

[gaycrow.livejournal.com]

*hugs* to you and the family.

Keep hanging in there.

[cantrix.livejournal.com]

*much hugs and cuddles, cos you sound like you need them*

Dunno how you are with crafty type stuff, or what the prices are like where you are, but here ribbon is pretty cheap per metre to get nice plain stuff (though the really fancy stuff can get up to about $6 or $7 a metre, it's generally less than $3 a metre)... a couple of types of ribbon, a nice button or something, attach to a piece of elastic or plain clip and voila you have pretty bows to give any girl cousins with long hair. If you're interested and I remember when I have more time, I could take some pictures of my stuff for inspiration (and so you know what I'm actually talking about! LOL).

Or you could make necklaces and bracelets and the likes - even plastic beads can look very pretty if you can get nice colours and combinations, or even use some pretty shells or interesting bits of wood. Wire can be relatively expensive - here at least - but if you could work out a way to keep it tied up, fishing nylon would work. Perhaps if you knotted the ends, then added glue to keep it from untying? One of the ladies at work makes stuff from paua - she's done christmas decorations that are just two strips of paua done in a cross and stuff like that. The important thing to remember is to not have sharp edges.

Let me know if you want more ideas or hugs, and I'll see what I can do.

*hugs again*

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

The important thing about the holidays after you lose a loved one is to make new traditions, rather than trying to go through all the same rituals. It really worked for me. *hugs*

[lherelenfeline.livejournal.com]

[hugs]

[kokopoko.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[vileseagulls.livejournal.com]

*squishes tight*

[larochka173.livejournal.com]

BIIIG HUG. I can't find your address again, so sorry! PLease email it to me again? Thank you!

[h311ybean]

*many, many hugs to you and your family*

My aunt-by-marriage's mother died last year and I think we feel her absence most during Christmas. She would always lead us in singing a carol or two, and it just wasn't the same without her at our last party.

It's nothing like losing your dad, but I do know what it's like to lose family and feel their absence during the holidays.

[athenakt.livejournal.com]

You deserve much in the way of sweetness and light, if only for the way you muddle through and think of the youngins and all. Be well, sweetie.

*snugs*